What Kind of Parent are You?

Everyone has a different approach to parenting. How you decide to parent your child can come from a combination of factors, but mainly your parenting style comes from how you were raised. There are four basic parenting styles.

Knowing which one you use can help you to understand why you react certain ways and how each action can positively or negatively affect your child. Likewise, knowing your spouse’s parenting style will help you recognize how they approach situations.

Whether you are married or divorced it is helpful to understand which styles of parenting your children are receiving from each parent.

Positive Parenting
In a positive parenting style you are good at nurturing, accepting, and supporting your children. You also excel at disciplining your children by setting rules and limits, knowing their whereabouts, and firmly but kindly enforcing the rules. You show your children respect and in turn they respect you. This style of parenting allows your children freedom to express their thoughts and ideas. Overall children raised by a parent with a positive parenting style do well and develop fewer behavioral problems. They tend to have better mental health and do better in school by having good self-esteem, confidence, and social skills.

Permissive Parenting
If you have a permissive parenting style you are good at nurturing and respecting your children but have difficulty disciplining them consistently and effectively. You may be acting more like a friend than a parent to your children. While children with permissive parents tend to have good self-esteem and good social skills, they tend to be less respectful and responsible. It’s possible they won’t apply themselves in school and can develop a behavior problem.

Dominating Parenting
In a dominating parenting style you believe your children should accept your rules without question. You expect them to have good behavior but you aren’t particularly nurturing or respectful of them. Children raised by a dominating parent tend to be extremely respectful and responsible. They tend to be very well behaved but perform at an average level in school. Typically they suffer from anxiety and depression and tend to have low self-esteem and confidence.

Unengaged Parenting
As an unengaged parent you are generally not involved in your children’s life. You aren’t aware of your children’s needs, what activities they are involved in, or what friends they have. You tend to make decisions based on what works best for you and usually you don’t nurture, respect or discipline your children. If children are raised by an unengaged parent they tend to have the most hardships. They lack self-esteem and confidence, have few social skills, and poor school performance. They often suffer from behavioral problems, anxiety, and depression.

Which parenting style do you relate most with? Which style does the other parent employ? While you cannot change the other persons parenting style, it is helpful to understand so you can ensure you are parenting in a way that makes life easier and more enjoyable for both you and your children.

These tips are brought to you by our Minnesota Family Law Lawyers.