Parenting Plan Guidelines

No two people are the same, and chances are, you can see this fact distinctly even between your own children. While they have the same parents, it may seem they have nothing else in common.

With so many differences, it’s hard to know where to start when it comes time to determine a parenting plan. If every child is unique, where can you find guidance?
The good news is, while children’s personalities and likes/dislikes differ, children within certain age groups have similar needs. Here, we’ll describe some of these basic needs and general guidelines for fulfilling them.
Children from Birth to 2 1/2 Years
The over-arching need for children within this age group is trust and consistency.
Children need to learn to trust their world and their caregivers. They need their caregivers to consistently respond to their needs.

A first step, of course, is to be sure children’s caregivers (whether it’s a parent, family member, or a childcare provider) are always there for them. It’s important not only to be there consistently but also to be there in a consistent manner. Deal with challenges in a similar manner, feed them in a similar manner, put them to sleep in a similar manner, etc.

Keep a consistent schedule, as well, with the same feeding and sleeping times regardless of where a child is. Be sure children always have something familiar surrounding them (blankets, toys, etc.)

Finally, this age range is when a lot of decisions about your child’s upbringing are made. Be sure both parents clearly agree on how children will be raised to avoid any conflict in their presence.

Children from 2 1/2 to 5 Years
As with younger children, children in this age group require consistent schedules and familiar surroundings.
But, in this age group, children are also becoming more independent. They need chances to learn and explore, and they need to be able to express their feelings.

Children are aware of an established schedule, so changes to it will be more difficult. Gradually introduce change into their lives.

Children are also more able to understand your attitudes and actions at this age, so even more than with younger children, it’s essential to maintain a positive or at least neutral attitude toward the other parent.

Children from 5 to 12 Years
Children’s independence continues to grow in this age group.

Consistency is still important, especially concerning their school and activities, such as sports, lessons, etc. Be sure they are able to maintain the same activities regardless of the parent they’re spending time with.

A major need with children in this age group is clear communication – communication between parents and between parents and their school.

Another important need during this stage is proper role models. Role models at this age include parents, so maintain respectful relationships. Be sure children have consistent opportunities to spend time with their parent of the same gender.

Children from 12 to 18 Years
As children become the most independent in this age group, it will become more difficult to maintain regular contact and schedules when it comes to time with both parents.

Along with this independence also comes more thoughts and questions. Allow children to question decisions, beliefs, and even your break up.

Consistency in how you’ll handle questions from your children and what rules you’ll have for them is important now. Be sure children know rules are consistent between both parents, so they don’t try to pit one parent against the other.
While there are different needs for children of different ages, many of these needs can be addressed with clear communication and consistency. Be sure to think through your parenting rules and plan carefully, and you’ll be on your way to a much easier transition for your children.

Virtual Visitation A Real Option

Talks about virtual visitation aren’t new, but virtual visitation as a viable option in child custody cases is becoming more realistic and more common every day.

First, you may be wondering just what virtual visitation is.
Many people think of it as the next best thing to seeing your children in person. When parents can’t have face-to-face visits, they can have visits electronically – via email, instant message, video chats, texting, and more.

Most commonly, it allows parents who live in different locations than their children to be more consistent presences in their lives. However, it has been an option for parents who are incarcerated, parents who can’t see their children because of domestic violence disputes, or simply to supplement in-person visits for parents living in or near the same locations as their children.

So, why is it a more viable option today? For several reasons, ranging from affordable technology to state legislation.

Continue reading “Virtual Visitation A Real Option”

How to Help Children Coping with a Divorce

Coping with a divorce is difficult for everyone involved, but it can be particularly difficult for your children. When you’re not even sure how to deal with the situation yourself, it’s confusing to try to help to help your children cope, too.

A good, simple rule is to be as open and honest as you can about the details of the divorce that will impact your children’s lives, while accepting their emotions, even if you’re surprised by these reactions. Continue reading “How to Help Children Coping with a Divorce”