Divorce can be a difficult and emotionally draining situation, and when children are involved the process can become even more complicated. But for your children’s well being, one important thing to remember is to be supportive of the child’s relationship with the other parent. This is sometimes not an easy stance to take, especially if there is still anger or hurt present. Here I’ve listed some tips on how to make space for both of you in your child’s life.
- Keep your comments neutral and/or positive when talking about the other parent: It can be difficult to not criticize the other parent after a divorce, but by doing so you will only end up damaging your child and hurting yourself. If you need to vent, talk with a friend or other adult and make sure its somewhere your children won’t be able to overhear you.
- Set expectations with your friends and family to also keep their comments neutral or positive about the other parent. Let them know that expressing their anger can only hurt your child. Although you won’t be able to control what other people say or do, you can set a good example and communicate your reasoning and concerns.
- Encourage your children’s relationship with the other parent. In the long run it will help your child to know they are loved and cared about by each parent.
- Don’t rely on your child to be the messenger between you and the other parent. It is not fair to put them in the middle and won’t be a healthy situation. If you need to talk to the other parent talk to them directly or through some other means of communication.
- Never ask your child to choose between you and the other parent or ever make them feel like they have to.
At the end of the day something important to remember is that you always have control over your actions and your responses.